Sooryavansham to be declared national movie due to Max’s repeated telecasts

New Delhi. It is alleged that in this winter session of Parliament, a bill is to be proposed to declare Sooryavansham as the national movie of India. For those who are unaware, Sooryavansham is 1999’s Amitabh Bachchan starrer Bollywood drama film.

The proposal came up owing to repeated telecasts every other day by Sony Max.

This is what a spokesperson from Sony Max has to say on this- “We are glad that our efforts paid off. We worked day and night to plan the repeated telecasts of this super awesome movie on our channel. Also, the idea of a national movie is a new concept for the country. It is a matter of pride that our channel contributed to make this happen.”

Moreover, the channel head has planned to throw a grand party once this is declaration is confirmed. This party will have a grand premiere of Sooryavansham for the guests.

Not only this, even the regular audience of this channel is too excited to hear the news.

When contacted by Faking News reporter, one of the fans from Fakepura said – “I and my wife are so much addicted to watching this movie on Sony Max that we often take sick leaves to make sure that we do not miss even a single telecast. My wife became suicidal when the channel did not showcase the movie for long during the IPL season. Last week we had organized a hawan (prayer) at our home town to pray for Sooryavansham to be declared as the national movie of India.”

(FYI- I have submitted this report to Faking News and it is published at this URL -http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/12/16/sooryavansham-to-be-declared-national-movie-due-to-maxs-repeated-telecasts/)

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बेगुनाह

उसे वतन सरहदों ने मुक़र्रर करवाया,

उसे मज़हब परिवार ने मंसूब करवाया|

उस बेक़सूर मोहरे को जिंदा से मुर्दा बेरहम जहान ने बनाया,

जब उसे इंतिक़ाम-ओ-दहशत का शिकार दहशत-गर्दो ने बनाया||

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ख़ौफ

लोग टूट जाते हैं इक घर बनाने में,

तुम तरस नहीं खाते बस्तियां जलाने में

 -Anonymous

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Happiness is not a sin, sadness is not a virtue.

-Anonymous

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PK is OMG- Aamir Khan Style

Time for some movie review - Mansi ishtyle! 

PK is an interesting, provocative satire and funny film. It revolves around an alien who challenges some of the oldest rituals of religions and paradoxes of the society that are ruling lives of people on the earth.

It was Akshay Kumar and Paresh Raval starrer OMG (Oh My God) that was released first on similar theme. Well, we expect Rajkumar Hirani and Aamir Khan not to copy concepts, but to bring something afresh, something that is known to all but showcased with a different perspective. 

A few highlights from the movie-

1) First of all, PK is an interesting movie, spiced by the carrot-eater, innocent, comic, human-like, Bhojpuri speaking alien- PK's (Aamir Khan) and sugary sweet, clever journalist Jagat Janani / Jaggu's (Anushka Sharma) acting. Sanjay Dutt and Sushant Singh Rajput can seen only sporadically throughout. The Alien Khan is an astronaut from some gola (planet) in the galaxy that is visible only at night. 

Sometimes I wonder, is the alien society also male-dominated like ours? Does a female alien exist? None of the movies has showcased one ! 

2) He lands whole naked at a bare land in Rajasthan, where his remote control  that connects him to his planet, is stolen by a man. 

Why do they forget the Atithi Devo Bhava slogan even after repetitive requests from the same Aamir Khan!

2) In the treasure hunt for his remote, Aamir gets to know that it is none other than Bhagwan who can let him get his property back. In this search he gets utterly confused with what different religions preach, and comes across the concept of India being a multi-religion country, and that no one is born with a stamp that assigns religion to them, and also that we blindly follow what our religious gurus preach us. PK calls this as wrong number. 

This is followed by multiple speeches by the alien himself, some in public and some in a private discussion with God's idols. 

Point to be noted my Lord, as per Bollywood movies, why only GOOD aliens come to India and BAD ones go to the Hollywood? May be, the Indian movies cannot bear the cost of destruction that the bad aliens cause to their country.

3) He raises several witty questions like - "Yaha do tarah ke bhagwan hai -ek wo jisne tum sabko banaya hai aur dusre wo jise tum sab banate ho". Amusingly, he even donates money and then takes refund of the donations he made to god at temples after he discovers that god doesn't listen at all with the suggested ways. Moreover, he uses the same bhagwan to protect him every time, by pasting stickers of Hanuman and Krishna on both sides of his face! 

Pardon me, but this again is centered over Hinduism, so unfair it is.

4) Last but not the least, the alien falls in love with the chick of the movie - Jaggu, and then lets her go. 

Ummm.. Bollywood movies can bring this Pyaar and Kurbaani thing even to the aliens. And guess what, aliens also shed tears.

5) This sounds rational that the alien learns to speak Bhojpuri dialect by getting knowledge transfer in a magical way from a prostitute Fuljadiya, and then communicates in the same way throughout the plot. 

But did I miss any scene where he got a knowledge transfer to WRITE in ENGLISH. He did that for expressing his love to Jaggu. 

Overall, this is a fun film with a li'l dose of "gyaan", filled with surprises every minute. It lets you thinking long after you leave your seat. The nanga punga dost (PK) keeps entertaining you with his curious questions and light comedy which makes it a family movie.

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"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply."
-Stephen R. Covey

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It is invain to sell mirrors to the blind.

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Leaked: Samsung Galaxy Note-102 Launch

New Delhi. Samsung is expected to announce the successor of its popular Galaxy Note-101 smart phone at its launch event in capital on Friday. One can easily judge that this phone shall follow the legacy of the Note family and will be called Galaxy Note-102.

In the first teaser posted on Tuesday, the company tweeted – “Why only watch, and not smell your photographs!?” This clearly depicts that the camera of this phone is designed to capture smell along with sight.

Sources have indicated some of its key features–

1. Camera -

500 MP camera with 20X zoom. It is built to capture molecular-level pictures. This may worry the youths who suffer from pimple problems. Also, it captures smell of the object.

2. Battery –

Battery has always been a source of worry for smart phone users. But this revolutionary phone is designed so that it gets auto-charged while in use, but requires charging whenever kept idle.

3. SIM cards –

Supports 13 SIM cards – one for parents and rest for a dozen girlfriends.

4. Size-

This miraculous innovation can be folded or stretched to any size varying from that of a laptop to a match box.

5. Display –

It comes with an XX-HD display. The color band consists of a range whose upper and lower spectrum is not even visible to the human eyes.

6. Touch-less Control –

With a little training, your phone will understand your instructions in the form of your breathing.

7. Weight –

It weighs  ~1000 grams. You can now carry your smartphone while shopping for vegetables; you need not rely on the cunning vendor’s weighing machine anymore.

8. Accessories – 

a) Gas cylinder-  For those who travel often, can cook anytime on the move, with this handheld device.

b) Home theater- This will turn down the Television market drastically.

c) Stereo speakers- Though a little tedious to carry, but the stereo wide speakers are an added advantage to this phone and will make you the center of attraction on a DJ party night.

d) Phone covers- Attractive bullet proof phone covers with mirror on one side, for the ladies who, otherwise use the screen as a mirror!

e) Additional memory- 1PB external hard disk.

Some of its miscellaneous features may be –

1. It comes with a smell sensor for photographs. Not only you have the real time experience with its superb colors, but can smell the photographs now. For example, the photograph of a rose would come along with its rosy fragrance.

2. It takes your selfie every 30 min.

3. Changes your baby’s nappy after specified intervals.

4. Performs best when immersed in water.

5. Inbuilt apps for smiley generation and Whatsapp joke generation.

6. You can open the phone from middle and store snacks there.

7. A button at the top to release pepper spray, for the safety of women. Easily refillable at any recharge shop.

Although the prize of this device is still not finalized, but rumors have it that this most awaited economy phone may cost anywhere between 100000 INR to 200000 INR.

The only setback that we foresee with this smartest-ever phone is that it has no facility for missed calls. This means it may not do well in Indian markets, where, “missed calls” are the most used feature by every Indian.

 (FYI- I have submitted this report to Faking News and it is published at this URL - http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/12/01/leaked-samsung-galaxy-note-102-launch/)

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"Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing"
-Benjamin Franklin

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Nothing haunts us like the things we don't say!

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